ACF- The Academic Competition Federation, this is the
truly hardcore quiz bowl organization. Sean and Amy found this out the hard way
at the 2001 Berkeley Chicago Open mirror. If the results are to believed, then
Amy only knows about the Bible, Maghreb, and Pablo Neruda, and Sean only knows
about Finnish history, dead empires, and sports, especially Arena Football. The
average score on ACF bonuses is zero (see bagel).If we ever do another ACF tourney,
Philip will be called upon to help us whether he wants to or not.
Alanis
Morrisette- The cheap Canadian version of Shakira.
Alaska-Fairbanks-Formerly Region 14's version of the Buffalo Bills.
Their 2002 CBI team was certainly an...entertaining bunch, what with their
Z.Z.Top-esque/mountainman beards, the lifesize cardboard cutout of "Monday Night
Football" play-by-play announcer Al Michaels, and the bag of rosemary they
passed around and sniffed before each match.
“All in the Family” action
tossup- During the 2001 Capitol Punishment mirror in Berkeley, a scoundrel
named Joe Wright from Amy's Cal Tech/USC team demonstrated his knowledge of
Sammy Davis Jr.'s kiss on Archie Bunker's cheek by placing a smooch on a stunned
Amy. Sean, unable to prevent it and taking it as well as can be expected from
him, kicked the scoundrel out of Dwinelle Hall, leaving the USC player to meet
his fate at the claws of the rabid raccoons outside of the building.
"All I want to do is dance!...Well,
you know, that and play quiz bowl."- Actual words uttered in the Quiz-Mobile
on the way home from the 2002 Cardinal Classic.
All Saint's Day (a.k.a.
Halloween)- The answer that Sean gave to a question in the 1998 CBI
intermural tourney that was ruled incorrect even though the stated answer was a
lesser known name of the intended answer of Halloween.
Amy's friend
Laurie's name for people present on the 2001 trip to the taping of “High
Five”- Head Quiz Boy (Sean), Poison Oak Boy (Daniel), Surfer Boy (Brian),
Quiz God (Philip), and That Guy You Should Tell to Piss Off (unnamed).
Amy
"X-Factor" Fuller- On the UO Quiz Bowl team for knowing four things- Pablo
Neruda, The Bible, little-known Seinfeld characters, and how to entertain us all
:), especially in the area of climbing/riding inappropriate objects (evidence
will be provided later :) Her nickname "X-Factor," courtesy of the top-notch
quizzers at SFU, allegedly stems from the question about the 12 days of
Christmas that won us a trip to Nationals.
Anne Murray- Canadian
songstress that is apparently a man, judging by the poor quality tapes used at
VETO.
Anorexic Crackhead Bimbo- What William stated one Saturday
evening at a Vancouver Subway that he was not looking for in a
woman.
Anthony DeJesus- The punk at Case Western Reserve University
who wrote such an incredibly obscure packet for the Berkeley Chicago Open Mirror
that the score after 5 tossups in a match between us and Stanford was 0-0. Even
for ACF, this was way too hard and it didn't get much better after those first
five tossups. He has also dubbed the UO Quiz Bowl website a dud, and for these
two reasons will be hated forever by many affiliates of the UO Quiz Bowl team.
"Apparently I am too dumb to use a parking garage"- Actual words
spoken by a grateful Amy Fuller on two separate occasions to Vancouver strangers
who were helping her figure out the procedure for exiting the confinement
fortress those Krazy Kanucks call a parkade.
Armpit farting- Secret
talent possessed by William, earning him a quick ten points at Count Chocula's
Toilet Bowl.
Arena Football League- Sean has a disturbingly high level
knowledge about this subject, as indicated by his getting 30 points on a certain
bonus at the 2001 Berkeley Chicago Open Mirror.
"Aren't all the people at
Quiz Bowl, like, nerds?"- Actual question asked by Amy's 10-year-old cousin
Erin.
A Respectable Joint- A store in Crack Alley, Vancouver, BC
where William noted the high quality of the pot within the
establishment.
ASUO- Overbloated bureaucracy staffed by evil
bloodsucking socialist parasites to which one must pimp oneself in order to
receive money. This "student" organization is also the center of hatred for the
UO Quiz Bowl team for losing $300 in deposits that was to go toward paying for
the trip to St. Louis.
Attorney- What we'll need after you read this
list. Fortunately, we have one in Philip or we'd really be in
trouble.
Bagel- Zero points on a bonus; ACF encourages this kind of
sadistic entertainment. Unfortunately, at Count Chocula's Toilet Bowl, the UO
got bagels on all five bonuses they received in a match while their opponents
got bagels on 9 of the 10 bonuses they received. Also the most frequent result
of UO bonii at the 2002 Cardinal Classic.
Banjo music- In Vallejo, CA,
this is your best bet for a radio tune to crank up really loud and head-bang to
with the windows down, as demonstrated by our 2001 BASQUE team (i.e. Sean and
Amy). Okay, for the record, Sean abstained from the head-banging.
Barn-burner- Incredibly close quiz match that comes right down to the
wire. A.k.a. "Cheese-melter." They are inherently nerve-wracking, but, please,
try to retain control of your bladder.
Barry Manilow- Last-ditch
guess by Amy during the music recall tourney at BASQUE. Hmmm…too bad it turns
out the actual artist was Willy Nelson.
BASQUE- Short for “Bay Area
Summer Quiz Extravaganza,” it is held every summer by the Berkeley team and was
the scene of some very disturbing moments in 2001 for the UO Quiz Bowl team.
Also see Capitol Punishment III and 2001 Berkeley Chicago Open mirror.
Beavers- The mascot of two of our bitterest rivals, Oregon State and
Cal Tech. Needless to say, we're appalled that the state nickname for Oregon is
well, you can figure this out.
Below the Baby- Finishing a quiz bowl
tourney with a negative PPG average. Hallmark of a truly shameful
performance.
Berkeley- Home of the University of California as well as
Blondie's pizza (see below), a place that will hold special memories for Amy and
Sean. Site of the BASQUE extravaganza that Amy and Sean suffered through.
Berkeley Chicago Open mirror- For Sean and Amy in 2001, this was
their nightmarish first experience with ACF. Also the site of Sean's insanely
early tossup buzz on the Russo-Finnish war. Also the site where Amy and Sean
heard the most obscure packet ever conceived (see Anthony DeJesus). Fortunately,
two players from Washington University at St. Louis joined our team and saved us
from last place.
Blondie's Pizza- A Berkeley pizza joint that played
the music of Shakira (pre 2002!), to the pleasant surprise of Amy and Sean.
Bob Sacamano- Kramer's off-screen friend on Seinfeld, also the answer
to a toss-up question at CCTB, evoking glee-filled yelps from Amy and blank
stares from everyone else.
Bongo Burgers- Berkeley dining
establishment whose name captures the spirit of the area around campus. Site of
several events, perhaps the highlight of which would be the Backstreet Boys
sing-along with our Wash-U teammates.
Brawling ability of Quiz
Bowlers- Discussion topic between Amy and Sean during the 2001 BASQUE. It
was determined that they could take most of the field with little difficulty.
Buggers- Single word
uttered by Jonathan in response to the disappointing outcome at 2002 CBI
regionals. Amy agreed, responding with a "bollocks" and a "bloody
'ell."
Buzzer Race- Caused by a question in which everybody with an IQ
over 10 knows the answer to. Most frequently seen on High Five, especially in
the 2000-01 version. Occasionally seen in College Bowl as well.
Cal
Tech- The team that Amy got shipped to during the 2001 Capitol Punishment
tourney at Berkeley. Travis is still recovering from the bitterness of being
rejected by that school. Also the home of the Beavers (boooooo).
Canadian
Alpha-Bits cereal- A breakfast option at Berkeley, this product is reported
to contain "extra 'eh's" and be "complete from A to Zed." Let the record show
that this second observation was made by Amy a full 36 hours before it was
wrongly attributed to someone else during the pre-tourney breakfast.
Canadian Chess- Sean has promised never to write another question
about Canadian chess players after the two questions he wrote for the Count
Chocula's Toilet Bowl drew howls of protest from the Canadians.
Canadian
description of the UO Quiz Bowl team’s behavior on the way to VETO (by the woman
in the house across the street from where we were staying- "One morning they
straggled out looking half-dead and they got in the car and drove off. They came
back like half an hour later and one ran in the house and dragged out another
one, who looked even more dead than the rest of them. I guess they must have
realized they'd left someone behind."
Cannibalism- An idea that was
entertained during our trip to Vancouver. William suggested that Amy would be
"scrumptious." However, since
William was the first to fall asleep, he would have been the first to have been
marinated and cooked.
"Can you help me put my earring in?"- Actual
question asked by one of the few people who stopped to visit the Quiz Bowl booth
at the UO Activity Fair.
Capitol Punishment III- The TRASH tourney
hosted by Berkeley in 2001. The winning team was Berkeley's “Paula Poundstone's
Home for Wayward Girls.” Apparently the hosts were so scared of Sean and Amy's
TRASH ability that they were broken up to the relief of the rest of the field.
Cardinal Classic-
Hosted by Stanford, the 2002 version of this tournament is considered by UO Quiz
Bowlers to be the ultimate Festival of Pain with only a tie against UC-Davis,
although after awhile, we were too numb from the numerous thrashings we suffered
to really be in much pain at the end.
Carole King lyrics- We pity the
fool who has to go head-to-head with Amy on any question of this sort. Likewise,
if you've ever faced Sean on a "Finnish history" question, we send our
condolences.
"Chess Boy"
and "Packet Boy"- Titles used by Amy and Tanya to address their
long-suffering team captain, Sean, at various points during the trip to the 2002
Cardinal Classic.
Coach- A position that goes to whoever we need to
suck up to for money.
College Bowl- The only game in the region until
NAQT showed up. Much despised across the country for their ineptitude,
especially concerning their question editing skills. Overpriced considering the
product you get in return, but fun enough for our purposes, anyway.See “College Bowl Curse,”
however.
College Bowl
Curse- The inexplicable force of pure evil that seems to strike the UO
whenever it relates to CBI Regionals. In 1997, the UO finishes 2nd after winning
the round robin only to lose two straight in the finals to the UW. In 1998, the UO is upended by a new UAF
team for a spot in the finals. In
1999, the UO loses three matches by 30 points or less despite nearly having more
points than anybody else. In 2000,
the team loses to regional weaklings Linfield and Idaho State, costing the UO a
spot in the playoffs. In 2001, the
funding for CBI is cut, thus missing out on the UO's best chance to win
regionals in several years. In
2002, after going 6-0 in the round robin and winning in the first round of the
single elimination playoffs, the UO loses to SFU in the semifinals with a faulty
buzzer system, and is thereby condemned to watching SFU get thrashed in the
finals.
Comfy Inn- A motel across the street from the Dancing Bare in
Portland where the people go to, uh, sleep for the rest for the
evening.
Consolation Prizes- Litter for the highway home.
Count
Chocula's Toilet Bowl- The first TRASH tourney for the UO Quiz Bowl team and
the source of much of this lexicon. Was the site of such fine answers as Sean's
Swimsuit Edition bonus and Amy's Ron Jeremy tossup.
Crack Alley- East
Hastings Street in Vancouver. Home of the BC Marijuana Party and the Vancouver
branch of the Scientology cult. Where we got lost during the lunch break and
forfeited a match. Among the highlights of Crack Alley was the "Respectable
Joint," "Crack is what we do with eggs," and "Point of Hysteria".
Crack is
What We Do with Eggs- The slogan on the front of another high class
establishment in the Crack Alley of Vancouver.
"Crap… my dad has been
there."- Amy's answer to a bonus asking for the name of the Africa site
where Stanley found Livingstone. Sadly, all they would accept was Ujiji.
Daily Californian- Similar in usefulness to the Daily Emerald
according to our Berkeley hosts, the 07/27/01 issue had an op-ed comparing women
to shirts. For a newspaper that is in Berkeley, it was surprisingly behind the
times.
Daily Emerald- Worthless UO student newspaper more dedicated
to covering fraudulent student election and imminent squirrel invasions than our
regional victory. Barely even useful as toilet paper.
Dallas-style
match- A quiz bowl match in which two teams from the same town violently
cuss, scream, and call each other insulting names. Seen a couple of times during
the UO Campus tourney. Named after the TV show as well as a certain town in
Oregon where these teams seem to come from.
Dancing Bare- A high class
dancing establishment near William's home in Portland. Across the street from
the Comfy Inn. William made the unfortunate comment that Amy and Sarah from SFU
would do well there during amateur night. We'll miss him.
"Defer to the Count!"- At 2002
CBI regionals, this was Amy's oft-uttered but never-heeded advice to SFU, urging
them to offer their Count Chocula bobbing-head doll a chance to respond, should
any bonus come up that stumped the rest of the team.
Del Taco-
Supposedly 24-hour Mexican fast food chain whose St. Louis franchise was the
site of a hate-filled Spanish tirade by Amy Fuller when the famished team
arrived only to find it closed.
"Dept. of Sanitation," "Every day I'm
forced to add to the list of people who piss me off," and "I f*cked your mother
and all I got was syphilis" - Actual t-shirts worn by the ever-quirky
members of the Berkeley team during BASQUE 2001.
Directions in St.
Louis- Something we will never trust Sean with again, especially after
getting us lost in a part of the city that resembled South Central LA.
Don
Francisco (née Mario Kreutzberger)- Venerable Chilean host of the Univisión
program "Sábado Gigante," which, as described by People Magazine, is "a 4-hour
talk-game-gong show." He was arguably the unofficial mascot of the 2001 Berkeley
trip, as he seemed to be a recurring theme throughout the course of the trip--
first in conversation, then while channel-surfing, and (the last straw) in an
inexplicable reference to his program during SNL's "Weekend Update" segment.
Drunken Mob- A group of boisterous drunken Canadians who entered the
Vancouver Subway and pranced and dipped for 20 minutes, delaying Amy and
William's dinner at midnight.
Dwinelle Hall- Building on the
UC-Berkeley campus that is pure evil, especially if you're a road-weary
quiz-bowler looking for your fellow nerds. In case you're ever attempting to
locate room 225 in this labyrinth of evil, just remember that it's located on
the 4th floor…we mean "Floor D"…you know, the level above the one where room
4061 is. Also notorious for its lack of men's restrooms when compared to the
number of ladies' restrooms.
Ego- See also: 90% of quiz bowl
competitors
EMU Computer Lab- UO Quiz Bowl top recruiting
area.
Ernesto "Che"
Guevara- 1) In a match against Simon Fraser at 2002 NAQT sectionals, just
weeks after returning from a semester in Cuba, Amy powered a question on the
Argentina-born revolutionary with an unsettlingly early buzz (after something
like "The subject of a photograph taken by Alberto Korda..."). After the match,
Sarah from SFU was quoted as saying to Amy, "Damn you, you Cuban!" 2) Fast
forward one week to CBI regionals: there's another question about Che, and
Philip, what with being omniscient and all, beats Amy on it. They go to another
room for the next round, only to find that it is running a little behind
schedule and the packet UO just finished is still being played. Just as soon as
they enter the room, the Che question comes up, and Sarah from SFU gets it.
After the match, she says something like, "Yeah, the door opened, Amy walked in,
they started talking about Che...it all just kind of came together."
Eugene- Welcome to the People's Socialist Republic of
Eugene.
Exploding meth labs- As good of an answer as any when you have
absolutely no clue.
Festival of Pain- A phrase first used by Simon Fraser to
describe a less than successful tourney, it generally describes any tournaments
that we don't have Philip on the team. The best example would be the 2002
Cardinal Classic.
Finnish history- Apparently something Sean knows a
lot about considering his incredibly early toss-up buzz about the Russo-Finnish
War during the 2001 Berkeley Chicago Open mirror. We're wondering if he has
spent a little too much time in a sauna for his own good.
Forfeit- To
lose a match by not showing up. We committed this mistake at the 2001 VETO
tourney, getting lost in the Crack Alley neighborhood in Vancouver to boot.
Frittata- Baked egg dish whipped up by jack-of-all-trades Philip
Huang when he had some friends over for an end-of-the-year party.
Gang
Green- Our team nickname during the Count Chocula's Toilet
Bowl.
Gear- The answer that Sean failed to come up with at the Toilet
Bowl despite having been in a car returning from 2000 CBI Regionals in Walla
Walla where the main topic of discussion was Jessica Biel's revealing picture on
the front of the magazine.
Georgia Strait- 1. A body of water in
Vancouver, BC. 2. An extremely disturbing magazine that was read by the UO Quiz
Bowl team at the infamous Vancouver Subway.
Going to the Chapel- A
song that Philip got jiggy with on the drive back from Seattle. Sean was
fortunate and slept through whole thing.
Grad Students- Evil cheating
bastards that deserve an eternity of hellfire, that is, unless they're on our
team.
Groupies- Something we can never get enough
of.
Haight-Ashbury- San Francisco district that is apparently the
place to go if you're in the market for hemp jewelry, bongs, lava lamps, pipes,
Jerry Garcia dolls, rolling papers, postcards with messages like "Piercing is
good, clean, holesome fun," or other paraphernalia not suitable for discussion
in even a medium as un family-friendly as this one. (This is located at the
intersection of Haight and Ashbury streets, in case you're wondering, Sean.)
Half-Baked- The only question that the UO team (Amy) got in a bonus
about Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors. Um, does this have anything to do with
the fact that we're from Eugene??? Strangely, this flavor was not available at
the Berkeley campus scoop shop, which seems to defy all known rules of logic and
reasoning.
Heroic-
word Amy used at 2002 CBI regionals to describe SFU-ers Sarah and Tara when they
came and rescued her from a conversation with a sleazy quizbowler colloquially
referred to as "Overconfident Guy." (Of course, they stood behind him making
faces, laughing, and pointing for a few moments before actually intervening, but
we can maybe overlook that...)
Helen Whitlock- Subject to numerous
disappearances in Vancouver, especially Stanley Park.
"Hi, I'm doing a
survey for the Provincial Sexual Orientation Board…"- Approach we decided
would be the most effective one to try if you were actually going to go ahead
and ask the two Vancouver bikers in matching leather outfits the question that
was on everyone's mind.
Hooters- Apparently St. Louis' idea of a
family dining establishment, based on the surprisingly high numbers of women and
children we saw go in.
"How do you buzz?"- A College Bowl t-shirt
owned by Sean, its photos and descriptions of the various philosophies of
buzzer-holding caused quite a buzz of their own among some customers at a Pinole
(CA) restaurant.
Human Dryer- A European contraption that the
Canadians imported to Stanley Park, supposedly with the intention of drying off
the people who had too much fun with the water toys there.
"I am the
Bionic Woman"- Explanation William received on the way home from Vancouver
when he commented to Amy that she seemed more alert and coherent than the rest
of the team despite major sleep deprivation.
Idaho- Home of potatoes,
neo-Nazi thugs, and mediocre Quiz Bowl teams. Despite knowledge of our dislike
for Idaho, Tanya (from Twin Falls) still joined up with us, thus proving that
there is some intelligence in the state, even if it already left for Oregon.Also
home to Boise State, home of the "Overconfident Guy"
In-N-Out location
guide- Vital document to be consulted when planning the routes to all future
UO Quiz Bowl outings. For example, all trips from Eugene to Seattle will now be
via Redding, CA (to date, the farthest north In-N-Out franchise) so that no trip
will be without the California-based chain's mouth-watering burgers, fries, and
shakes.
Invisible Man- Philip Huang when one tries to get a hold of
him.
"I think you underestimate yourself"- Sean's reply to Amy when
she doubted her marketability at the Dancing Bare in Portland.
"It only
takes one male to dominate the car"- William's response to Helen's question,
"How does it feel to be outnumbered by girls in the car?" during the car ride up
to Vancouver. The humor of the comment was lost upon the females in the
car.
Joe Wright- USC player who has made himself a permanent enemy of
the UO Quiz Bowl club for enthusiastically demonstrating Sammy Davis Jr's kiss
on Archie Bunker in an All in the Family episode on a defenseless Amy during a
tossup at the Capitol Punishment III tourney. For this, Joe will be sent into
the realm of Hell that Dante missed (i.e. the rabid raccoon den at Dwinelle Hall
in Berkeley).
Judge, The- Best smashed with a foot…at least that’s
what Sean would like to do with this buzzer system that is so unpopular
with so many quizbowlers.
Lick the person to your right- A request
that was made by the moderator of a match at Count Chocula's Toilet Bowl. We're
still wondering about the sanity of the person who wrote that
question.
Linfield- Otherwise another unnoteworthy school in Oregon
except that they ogled the cute women that Whitman used for scorekeepers at the
2000 College Bowl regional
Los Angeles- Where we would've ended up if
mysterious forces within the UO had not decided to cut funding for the College
Bowl program this year, especially considering how easily we could have won our
regional in 2001 and gone on to play in the national tournament. Maybe on second
thought, this was for own good... naaaah. Home of UCLA and USC.
Losing
things- Something we actually would do well in. Items lost during the 2001
NAQT regionals: our rental car. Items lost during High Five: CD-ROM
Encyclopedia, Daniel's Chemistry book. Items lost during the VETO trip: Ball
point pen, pillow, quiz packets, some Scientology propaganda, and an Ace Bandage
box filled with socks. Let's hear it for the spacy geniuses of UO Quiz Bowl!
"Lovely Ladies of Quiz Bowl" calendar- Amy's idea for a Quiz Bowl
fund-raiser. It would have to be a nationwide effort, though, because if it just
included female competitors from our region, it would pretty much just be, like,
Sarah from SFU on odd-numbered months and Amy on the even ones.
Machine,
The- The nickname given to Philip by the Simon Fraser team. The following
year, SFU's Brock Stephenson described himself being as the highest scoring
*human* at CBI regionals, since apparently 1st place Philip belongs to some
other, non-human category.
Maple leaves- The Great White North's
two-word answer for how to "Canadianise" anything. ("So we're being over-run
with US fast food franchises. Well, guess we'd better slap a maple leaf in the
centre of the golden arches and call it good.")
McDonald’s- Someplace
Quiz Bowlers should never eat before serious Quiz Bowl action, something the
99-00 High Five team found out the hard way. There was also a McDonald's in
Vancouver that resembled a church.
Miguel- Name of the illegal
immigrant we supposedly had hidden deep within the bowels of the Quiz-Mobile
when crossing the US-Canada border. (As in, "Hey, Miguel, don't forget to knock
twice if you need more air, little buddy.")
Missouri- Almost a
homonym of misery. The armpit of America.
Mix-up of lacrosse leagues-
At Capitol Punishment III, Sean nailed an early tossup by mumbling MLL when the
correct answer was NLL. At the same time, Amy was in another room answering
NALL.
Moderately to high-priced- What William judged the abilities of
Amy and Sarah from SFU to be in the world of hookerdom. Needless to say, William
has never been heard from since.
Mr. Ho's Wonton House- Vancouver-area
dining establishment whose name Amy found quite entertaining. (Note: It is
supposedly in no way associated with SFU's Hanson "Buzzerface" Ho.)
"My
money's so safe"- Comment made by Amy after Sean missed a bet several times
that he could name a song title and artist on the return trip to Eugene from
Berkeley.
Name this curved yellow fruit- Actual College Bowl
question. Example of question that causes a buzzer race. Name of club's 2002
College Bowl campus tourney winning team
NAQT- A quiz bowl circuit we
were poorly prepared for except Philip. We blame being on the College Bowl
circuit for so long for this travesty of justice.
Nexus of the
universe- Mythical place apparently located in St. Louis, MO, as the
time-space continuum is warped enough there to allow the team's motel to be
located at the intersection of Clayton and Clayton.
Nexus of the Universe,
part B- This just in: apparently there's a second nexus located in Portland
at the intersection of Argyle and Argyle. While researchers still have not
conclusively confirmed the existence of a wormhole connecting the two nexuses
(nexi?), UO Quiz Bowlers decided to play it safe and maintain a healthy distance
in hopes of thereby reducing the likelihood of getting sucked in and having to
end up in the God-forsaken city of St. Louis again.
Ninja Girl- A girl
who entered the ladies’ room at the Vancouver Subway by kicking down the door.
Upon her exit from the washroom, she announced to us that she had things well
under control.
No(h)-
Tanya's favorite answer, usually to Sean's question "Have you ever heard of
that/him?" but once to correctly answer a question about Japanese
theater.
Open game-
Status of any table full of food ear-marked for an event occurring in the same
building as a quiz tournament.
Oregon State- Hosts of the 2002 CBI
Regionals (a.k.a. “the worst-run CBI tourney ever"). Naturally, their fans booed us when we
were introduced at the pre-tourney banquet. Their 2002 College Bowl team consisted of
four loud and drunk frat boys who had brains made out of turd. Needless to say, they were a lot quieter
after we pummeled them into the ground. Apparently, after the smackdown we put on
them in CBI Regionals, they're too chicken to play us on High Five now. We
wonder why…….
"Our host-brother"- How Amy kept referring to Andy, who
generously agreed to put us up during our 2001 Berkeley trip.
Overconfident Guy- A particular
Idaho-based player who hit on every single female at the 2002 CBI Regionals,
including Amy, who was rescued by two "heroic" ladies from SFU.
Pacific
Midwest- The name for the bastard team comprised of Amy and Sean along with
two Washington University at St. Louis students for the 2001 Berkeley Chicago
Open mirror.
Paula Poundstone's Home for Wayward Girls- By far the
most disturbing name we have ever seen for a TRASH team. A Berkeley team at the
Capitol Punishment III tourney, they horrified us with their knowledge of TRASH,
especially in the area of music.
Petro Canada- A gas station in
Vancouver where the restrooms (sorry, washrooms to the Canadians) had black
lights in order to cover up the mess that the bathroom was in.
Philip
Huang- The entire UO Quiz Bowl team
Pick-up advice- Never try to
pick up a woman in Latin, especially Amy Fuller. Trust us on this
one.
”Pinball Wizard,” by The Who- The only song that Sean heard on
the way back from Berkeley that he knew the artist AND title to, eliciting a
reaction of surprise from Amy.
Pirate Pack- A kid's meal that Amy and
Helen ordered while at a White Spot restaurant in Vancouver, it came served in a
nifty cardboard pirate ship, and accompanied by several colouring pages, as well
as numerous stickers that ultimately ended up on the dashboard of the
Quiz-Mobile. What's scary was that
Amy asked the waiter how much it would cost to replace the kid's drink with
beer.
"Please don't mention this in the lexicon"- A plaintive cry used
to beg Sean not to put an incredibly stupid and/or disturbing moment committed
by an UO Quiz Bowler into the lexicon. Although Sean usually ignores these cries
of mercy, he couldn't bring himself to include one such moment from Amy on the
way back from Berkeley after the BASQUE weekend that the UO players suffered
through. We're wondering if he's gotten soft after his graduation.
Point
of Hysteria- A spray-painted slogan on the side of an abandoned building in
Crack Alley. We noticed Amy getting hysterical at this particular
point.
Portland Community College- Dead last in tuition, dead last in
the region.
Poutine- Despite what you may have heard, it's not the
prime minister of Canada, it's a Quebecois dish apparently invented by a
cardiologist on the market for a new Lexus, as it consists of fries, gravy, and
cheese. On the 2001 VETO trip, Sean completed the gastronomic version of a
double marathon, having poutine for lunch and a double Big Mac for dinner.
Power tossup- Used by
NAQT and some invitational tournaments, it is a tossup nailed very early on in
the question for extra points. Something that Philip specializes in.
Promised Land- Sadly for the 2001 UO Quiz Bowl team, this was St.
Louis.
Puget Sound- If this team ever beats us, we will officially
disband in shame and humiliation.
Pullman- A town in Washington so
boring and so close to Idaho that we refused to go to the CBI regional tourney
even when we had a guaranteed victory.
Putting your foot in your
mouth- Something Sean does with disturbing regularity. An example of this
would be an extremely tasteless and unhumorous joke that Sean made about Amy,
champagne, and a hammer and sickle tattoo during the Count Chocula's Toilet
Bowl. He's still doing penance for that one. Something that William also
specializes in as well (see entries "It only takes one male to dominate the
car", "Moderately to high-priced", and "Anorexic Crackhead
Bimbo.")
Quiz-A-Matic- Our constant traveling companion. Used in cases
of extreme boredom.
Quiz Bowlers- People so dorky that the chess club
makes fun of them, they are also known by Amy's friends as "those trivia people
that you hang out with.”
Quiz-Mobile- Amy Fuller's car, a.k.a.
"Woody"
Raccoon- After a practice with the Berkeley Quiz Bowlers
during BASQUE 2001, we ran into a raccoon outside of Dwinelle Hall. After the
raccoon refused to submit to the combined brain power of Oregon and Berkeley, it
was suggested that he was rabid and maybe we should depart from the premises.
The scoundrel from USC named Joe Wright who kissed Amy (see All in the Family
action tossup) was also last seen with the raccoons after Sean dumped him in the
area.
Rigor Mortis- What sets in for all UO quizbowlers except Philip
during ACF questions.
Ron Jeremy- The only porn star that Amy has
heard of--there was once an article about him in the Oregon Daily Emerald.
However, ever since she successfully answered a question about him at CCTB,
she's had trouble convincing people that she's not at all well-versed in his
genre.
Sacramento- The
subject of a tossup that Sean powered at the 2002 Cardinal Classic. Ironically
enough, it was against a Sacramento-area team (UC-Davis)
Sarah
Crauder- SFU player from Corvallis, OR, who is the only girl in the
Northwest other than Amy to regularly play Quiz Bowl.
Sean Cole-
Unwilling Moses to the gods of Quiz Bowl. Actually the only reason that he's on
the team is due to his extensive knowledge of Finnish history, chess, and
obscure sports leagues such as Arena League football. Known for also putting the
most embarrassing moments of each UO Quiz Bowler as well as mean-spirited jokes
about other teams and bureaucracies in the lexicon.
Sean's Angels- Sean's smart aleck suggestion
that became our team name for the 2002 Cardinal Classic, since the team
consisted of Amy, Tanya, Sophia from UCLA, and Sean.
Shakira- The UO
Quiz Bowl club's official favorite Colombian answer to Alanis Morrisette. (OK,
OK, at least that of Amy and Sean.)Amy would like to announce that she got her first Shakira CD back in
1996, and also that Shakira used to be a talented singer/song-writer, as opposed
to her current incarnation as a pole-dancing Britney Spears wannabe.The fact that both Amy and Tanya were
out-buzzed on the “Whenever, Wherever”/”Suerte” clip at SFU’s “Exit Music II”
audio recall tournament served as a real-life demonstration of the shift of
Shakira’s fan-base demographics from “Latin music fans” to “horny
boys.”
Shaun Webb- South African Simon Fraser player who used our
lexicon for a question at the Count Chocula's Toilet Bowl without our
permission. Apparently, he felt guilty about breaking international copyright
law and gave us a wonderful 30 point bonus question about Garfield. Also knew an
unsettling amount of the two Celine Dion songs asked about at Count Chocula's
Toilet Bowl.
Simon Fraser- We know more about Canada than this affable
team from British Columbia, eh. Plus their sense of humour is very disturbing,
eh. For evidence of this, check out their lexicon,
eh.
Singing the theme song to Pinky and the Brain- Another secret
talent that William possessed, earning him a quick10 points at Count Chocula's
Toilet Bowl.
Sleep Deprivation- How we got our lexicon started. Our
trip to Vancouver was especially useful in contributing to this lexicon due to
it.
Smith- Common last name given when a team has no clue. At the 2001
Count Chocula's Toilet Bowl, Sean was evil enough to write the following obscure
Canadian question: 4. She was called Canada's "Larry Bird" by former Canadian
national coach Don McCrae after she was inducted into the Canadian Basketball
Hall of Fame. This Salmon Arm, BC native was an All-American during her playing
days at the University of Oregon and after playing overseas in Italy and in her
native Canada, she went into coaching. For 10 points, name this Canadian
National women's basketball coach who will become the new coach at the
University of Oregon.Answer: (you
guessed it :) Bev SMITH. Of course, neither team got the answer :)
Spanish questions-
Used only as bonus questions and usually given only to our opponents -- reason
for Tanya's ulcer.
St. Louis- A city with a monument to inefficiency
as its top tourist attraction and a climate humid enough to boil an
egg.
Stanford- Hosts of the 2002 Cardinal Classic, also know to UO
quiz bowlers as the Festival of Pain. The team that Sean got shipped to during
the 2001 Capitol Punishment tourney at Berkeley. At the tourney their name was
Ah Yeaah. After losing several games by rather large margins, Sean suggested
that they change it to Ah, Shhh*t.
Stanley Park- A 1,000 acre park in
Vancouver where we met the Surfer Guys and where we lost Helen for forty-five
minutes while she got her portrait drawn. Also the site where Sean and William
re-created Hitchcock's classic "The Birds" with seagulls. Also the home to a
worthless human dryer that failed miserably in its goal.
Strategically
Timed Door Lock- Whenever we venture into an area where it is less than
safe, like Crack Alley, a strategically timed door lock takes
place.
Subway Guy- An employee at a Vancouver Subway who got into an
argument with three UO Quiz Bowlers about the subject of basketball,
specifically where basketball was invented. (Hint: it was invented in
Massachusetts—not in Canada, eh.)
"Sucky Mexican Music"- Evil scourge
upon the Latin music scene. Examples of it can be identified within nanoseconds
by Amy when she's attempting to tune the radio to acceptable fare. (Note- "Sucky
Mexican Music" should not be confused with acceptable Mexican music, such as
anything by Maná or Luis Miguel.)
Surfer Guys- Two dudes that William
swears are from California despite the fact that they had British Columbia
plates (maybe they’re from Whistler…). Unfortunately for us, they were too
chicken to help us scream Helen's name at Stanley Park despite the fact that one
of them was a "screamer." Also
noteworthy was their unusual combination of Christian bumper stickers and
“scantily clad woman”-adorned air fresheners.
”Sweet Dreams Are Made of
This,” by the Eurythmics- The song that actually made Sean sing along (out
loud!) during the trip to Berkeley, again to the surprise of Amy.
Tanya Flores- Despite
being born in Chicago, there are strong suspicions that she is a missing
relative of Amy's, considering their numerous similarities in interests and quiz
bowl specialties.
Telemundo- Spanish-language television network whose name SFU's
Hanson Ho seemingly said to no one in particular while having to sit out for
part of the finals at 2002 CBI regionals. When later interrogated about this, he
did not deny it. (Telemundo is a great channel and all, but what odd sort of
Tourette's Syndrome-like disorder could this be? One where, rather than
expletives, you uncontrollably shout out "¡Univisión!" "¡Galavisión!" "¡MTV en
Español!"?)
Texas- Home of G.W., gun-toting crazies, mutant
armadillos, Bobby Knight, and Texas A&M, all equally hazardous to the health
of the world; a place we'd rather rent out than live. Why Philip would want to
intern in such a place is beyond our comprehension.(Yep, we’re not afraid to “mess with
Texas.”)
Texas A&M- The only quiz bowl team conceited enough to
wear bowling shirts and protest our requesting a score check. Even after
attending three tournaments with them involved, we still can't find another team
who likes them.
“The Birds”- Old Hitchcock movie that Sean and William
(armed with fish and chips) unintentionally recreated with the army of seagulls
at Stanley Park.
The Snail- Affectionate nickname for the X-Cargo
brand roof-top luggage carrier the Quiz-Mobile was sporting on the 2001 VETO
trip. (As in, "If you don't stop pissing us off, that's it, you're riding in The
Snail on the way home.")
"Those trivia people you hang out with"-
Apparently the name that Amy's friends have given the UO Quiz Bowl
club.
Tie-breaking questions- Best weight loss program known to
man
TMI- TOO MUCH INFORMATION, what we have to say to clue someone in
when it is time to shut up. If they don't, well, they can't say they weren't
warned.
TRASH- Short for ‘Testing Recall About Strange Happenings,’
this format has provided certain UO Quiz Bowlers a chance to show off their
highly disturbing knowledge. For William, it was armpit farting and knowing the
theme song to Pinky and the Brain. For Amy, it was pop music and Ron Jeremy.
For Sean, it was sports, including
that related to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
Tsawwassen-
Strangely spelled ferry terminal in British Columbia where Amy had to pick up
our host at 1:30 in the morning.
Twelve Days of Christmas- The answer
that won us a trip to St. Louis.
UC-Davis- A team that we tied in the last round of the
2002 Cardinal Classic. Congratulated Sean during that last round on nailing a
thirty point bonus, thereby earning the classiest team award in our minds. Also
the victims of a power tossup nailed by Sean about their nearby city
(Sacramento)
UCLA- Rival of USC, this school provided Sophia to round out our
team at the 2002 Cardinal Classic.
Unbridled optimism- Reason cited by
Sean when asked by Amy why he kept checking the various side-doors of Dwinelle
Hall even though they were invariably found to be locked.
University of
California at Berkeley- Site of the BASQUE extravaganza that Amy and Sean
suffered through. However, despite this, we are forever grateful to them for
sending us Philip. Also the original source of the saying, "Welcome to ______"
in order to explain anything weird about the place.
University of
Iowa- During a match against the University of Iowa at NAQT Nationals, the
answer to a bonus question that our opponents got was, you guessed it, the
University of Iowa.
University of Southern California- Rival of UCLA, this is the
home of the infamous kissing bandit (a.k.a. Joe Wright). The school also
deserves mockery in this lexicon for its mascot.
University of
Washington- Their Purple Reign of Terror in the Northwest is OVER!!! Well,
it was for 2001. Apparently, there is also a member of the UW team who doesn't
like Sean's sarcastic commentary. The good news is at least he didn't go to your
school.
Vancouver- Home to Simon Fraser University, the infamous
Vancouver Subway, and the Petro Canada with the black lights.
Vancouver
Subway- An extremely strange Subway in Vancouver, BC where we ran into
Subway Guy, Ninja Girl, Drunken Mob, read "Georgia Strait," and heard a sleep
deprived William rate the female clientele and wax philosophically about the
type of woman that he doesn't want (see Anorexic Crackhead Bimbo).
"Wake
me if there's a Bible question."- Amy's orders to Sean during round 8 of
their first ACF-format tourney, one that's also known as "the festival of pain"
(taken from the phrase originally coined by SFU-ers to describe their
experiences at 2001 NAQT nationals).
Washington University at St.
Louis- Host of the 2001 NAQT National Championship. Unfortunately, this cool
looking university with a castle on its grounds had to be in St. Louis. Two of
their players joined up with us and saved Sean and Amy some semblance of dignity
during the 2001 Berkeley Chicago Open mirror and for this we were extremely
grateful.
Welcome to Berkeley- The explanation that the Berkeley quiz
bowl team used to explain unexplainable things that occurred in Berkeley.
Welcome to Eugene- Based on the explanation that the Berkeley quiz
bowl team used to explain unexplainable things that occurred in Berkeley, this
phrase is also well suited to explain disturbing events that happen in Eugene.
"What street is the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood on?"- Actual question
asked by Sean during the side trip to San Francisco during the 2001 BASQUE
festival. We knew Sean was a redneck, but this was amazing even for him.
Whitman College- Host of 2000 CBI regional. Good news: The college is
nice and some of the women are cute. Bad news: The college is in Walla Walla and
those same women have bossy personalities as demonstrated by their admonition to
us that we should cheer up just after we had finished our worst performance (5th
place)at a regional in at least 15 years.
William Muir- The UO Quiz
Bowler probably to make the most entries (23) in this lexicon after a single
trip (Vancouver 2001). Just for this, he is invited to attend all UO quiz bowl
trips in the future.
Wolf- The name of William's German Shepard who
greeted Sean by coming within an inch of tearing Sean's foot off from the rest
of his body. Sean dearly wishes to this day that he still had a right foot to
walk on.
"Yeah, that's definitely going in the lexicon"- General
interjection/threat used on Quiz Bowl outings whenever anyone is doing or saying
anything...uh...memorable.
"Yummy!"- Handy sarcastic comment to have
at your disposal when faced with anything unpleasant. E.g., "A bonus on
Cambodian playwrights? Yummy!" or "Thanks for rolling down the window now that
we're right by the paper mill. Mmmmm, yummy!"
6 = the number of Cinnabons in the Minneapolis/St.
Paul airport
7 = the record number of riders to be in the Quiz-Mobile
on an official UOQB function. (Otherwise, the record is
11.)
139th = Out of 144 Division I players at NAQT Nationals, this
was Amy Fuller's rank.
1 = the number of questions remaining in the
practice packet when a fellow air passenger requested we shut up.
less
than 1 = supposed number of miles from the Delmar train station to our motel
in St. Louis. The actual figure seemed a tad higher one humid night when we were
carrying all our luggage between the two points.
8 to 1 = the
estimated guy-girl ratio at regionals
74 to 1 = the estimated odds
against the Quiz Bowl Club ever being mentioned in the "Oregon Daily
Emerald."
0 = the number of moon landings that have been made,
according to our cab driver in Missouri.
0 = the number of non-Bible,
non-trash toss-ups answered by Amy Fuller in her first three quiz bowl
events
1 = the number of stoned UO students babbling incoherently
about "the archangel" that interrupted our interview with a Register-Guard
reporter.
2-0 = our record against the overrated Ivy League schools at
NAQT Nationals
2-0 = our record against overrated schools from
Massachusetts
2 = the number of times Sean has slammed down his buzzer
in frustration after Philip missed a question about the Franks that Sean
knew.
20th Amendment = the answer that Sean so kindly told Daniel to
say on TV in front of the entire Northwest when the actual answer was the 21st
Amendment. But apparently Sean was too drunk to remember that it was the 21st
Amendment that ended Prohibition, not the 20th.
2/3 = the magic ratio
that is considered to be the all-purpose conversion factor for visitors to
Canada (works for dollars, km, etc.)
72 = the approximate length, in
hours, of our 2001 trip to Vancouver.
6 = the number of those hours
Amy spent sleeping, as opposed to 25, the number of hours she spent
driving.
2 = the number of questions about Canadian chess that Sean
wrote for Count Chocula's Toilet Bowl
0 = the number of questions
about Canadian chess that Sean wrote for Count Chocula's Toilet Bowl that the
Canadians got right.
2 = the number of times Amy had to go to the
Tsawwassen ferry terminal to pick up our host family's tongue-pierced
daughter.
1 = the number of times that William slammed down his buzzer
after Sean got a question about Ralph Nader despite the fact that Sean didn't
vote for Nader and William worked for the Green Party leader.
1 = the
number of porn questions that Amy got during the Count Chocula's Toilet
Bowl.
5 = the number of football players Sean was able to name that
appeared in the 2001 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (He claims that he
actually read the articles in that issue).
1 = the number of questions
about the 1996 Canadian census that annoyed Sean during the VETO
tournament.
15 (approximately) = the number of seagulls that accosted
Sean and William during their fish and chips dinner at Stanley
Park.
9.97 = the highest rating that William gave a female customer at
the infamous Vancouver Subway.
609 = the number of miles driven by Amy
on the day we returned from BASQUE, a personal record for her.
0-0 =
the score after 5 tossups during a round at the 2001 Berkeley Chicago Open
mirror. We blame Anthony DeJesus for this (see above).
60 out of 400 =
the number of points Amy nailed to qualify for the finals of the 2001 Berkeley
Audio Recall Shindig.
1 = the number of games that Sean's Stanford
team won at the 2001 Capitol Punishment tourney.
1 = the number of
Finnish history tossups that Sean has nailed in his quiz bowl
career.
infinity = the number of Finnish history questions that Sean
apparently wishes were in quiz bowl competitions after his extremely early buzz
on the Russo-Finnish War.
3 = the number of times Amy spotted a
Unabomber look-alike near UC-Berkeley, Kacinzsky's alma mater.
1 = the number of
cartwheels done by Amy Fuller in the OSU Memorial Union building, to
date.
2 = the number of rounds at 2002 CBI regionals where a UO player
had to resort to shouting out "BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!" after discovering that his/her
particular buzzer had suddenly decided to stop working.
4 = the
approximate number of different types of plots against Philip suggested by
opponents at 2002 CBI regionals. These included kidnapping, messing up his
buzzer so that it would shock him, Anthrax, and, finally, replacing the button
on his buzzer with a thumbtack whose point had been dipped in cyanide. It was
determined that in the following year, UO's CBI team would be composed of Philip
and 3 burly rugby players in dark sunglasses with the sole task of protecting
him from Tanya Harding-like opponents (especially those scheming guys from
UW--they're a shifty lot...)
1 = the correct number of stops to be
made when driving between Stanford and UO, a trip Yahoo Maps says is 561.3 miles
long, with an approximate travel time of 10 hours 25 mins. The correct location
of the stop, by the way, is Redding, CA, so you can not only get gas, but also
consume the exquisite delicacies (such as custom-ordered Neapolitan shakes)
available at the northernmost In-N-Out.
Too few = the number of Bible
questions Amy says are at every tournament. At the 2002 Cardinal Classic, there
was also a UC-Davis player who complained of this phenomenon.